


yeet

by shigeko



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Cooking, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, Marijuana, Rin is a dork, konekomaru is a shortstack, shiemi is lowkey a stoner, shima is STUPID, suguro's infamous clip, yukio needs jesus to take the wheel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 20:54:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20954753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shigeko/pseuds/shigeko
Summary: rin makes brownies.





	yeet

"fUCK im hungry" said Rin as he entered his dorm room. he threw his shoes off and placed his big ol' demon sword on the kitchen tabel.

the demon decided to cook some fufckitn brownies bc why not lmao

he pinned his hair back with the metal clip his not-boyfriend suguro gave him, shimmied on a gayass apron, and got down to business. Rin washed his yaoi hands and pulled out several ingredients from rhe pantry and refrigergaytor.

he got a bigass glass bowl and got dowm to crackalackin some eggs and shit and he put some sugar in that batch as well. plus some powders and salts and then he had this idea that was so gr3at m8.

his bitchass brother wasn't home yet so he figured he could get up to a few good shenanigans. rin ran to his room, grabbed this secret box from under his bed, and returned to the kitchen.

Rin smiled from elf ear to fucjjg elf ear as he opened the box. inside was his stash that shiemi harvested for him from her gayass magical garden, plus a bottle of some dank oil that she made from the herb.

he practicalky dumped the entire bottle into the mixtur3. he greased up a pan r e a l good with some i cant believe its not butter and poured the mixture onto it.

rin forgot to turn on the oven a long time ago so he fell on the floor crying hysterically befor e his familiar did it for him.

"thanks kuro ur my number one crip" he saluted him. he threw the pan in there and set a timer for 40 mins

<strike>((( idfk how to make brownies so pls don't follow along with this )))</strike>

just as he was finished cleaning up his mess motherfucking yukio had to peek his motherfucking head into rin's business and say "are you making food a g a i n you imbecilic glutton???"

rin swallowed his secret box out of fear of yukio finding it before sneering back "so what if i am you narcissistic moley asshole"

yukio rolled his four eyes and stalked his way to the living room.

the brownies were done in a matter of seconds so rin took thdm out,,, but he forgot oven mitts so he screamed internally as he set them on the countertop.

yukio poked his ugly ass head in again and said "i wish u woukd do ur homework instwad of eating like a fat bastard"

"shut up yukio ur just jealous i have more robux than you" rin said and fortnight danced.

"at least lemme have some" yuckio said

"naw bitch get ur own >:((((("

rin cut the brownies up into sixteen pieces and gobbled three of them. he decided to share em with his classmates otmorrow just to spite his brother even mlre.

he put the remained bronies inside of a tightly sealed plastic tube and hid them in a place yukio woild never find them.

in his ass.

...

rin stumbled through the bigass doors of his school. he didnt even rmember the name of the school, deadass. fuck this place.

his stoned ass was smirkign from elf ear to elf ear when he found his class. today he was early asf because he woke up at the asscrack of dawn to halfass the rest of his homework (he figured he did pretty good on it)

he took the browines out of his anus earkier and put thrm into a cutesy container with blue stars all over it (to match his flames, get it)

buguro ofc was already there. he laughed when he saw rin.

"someonez here early today" he said.

"bon holy fu ck uouve gotta try rhese thinsg" he cackled. he strutted his way over to his desk and handed him the box.

sugiro looked at the box. then @ rin. then at the box. then at r i n.

"whats his gay shit"

"they're bronies"

"nIGga why do u hsve BRONIES"

"WAIT NO THEYRE BROWNIES"

" oh."

bon ooene dthe box and took out thr biggest, most fluffiest brownie and shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

"hey, that's pretty good" he said through a mouthful. he reached for another one.

just then, baldheaded shortstack walked in the room with bubblegum bitch.

"oh SHIT its the gays" said shima.

"quiet young man cant u see theyre having a moment" scolded konenfkoeme

rin flopped over to them and siad "eat these fucking brownies or ur penis is small"

shima ate one immediately. shortstack reached for one but rin shooed his hand away.

"ur penis will always be small idk why ur trying to eat one." he also figured the smol wouldn't enjoy being high.

shima laughed and said "these thigns are so ufcking good what"

rin winked. "i made 'em w/ l o v e"

...

@ lunch time rin and his classmates dunked off to some far end of the school no one thought existed. suguro and shima accompanied him.

"yo, rin, wtf were in those things" said segway, currently high out of his fuckign mind.

"its called marijuana, bon" shima stated matter of factly. except he completely butcherdd the pronunciation and said 'marriage-anna'

"yeahim sorry i didnt say anything pls dont tell yuckio"

"ok homo *cough cough* homie"

so thats blue exorcist season 3 thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> how to make proper brownies:  
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/10549/best-brownies/


End file.
